Financial Abuse

It is hard to believe but many women in abusive relationships don't leave because they don't believe they can make it financially. Their abuser doesn't allow them to have any money, even if they make it themselves working. They feel they can't leave because they won't be able to feed their kids.

And this problem isn't just with women who are poor. Even wealthy women can be economically abused when they have to hand over their paychecks to partners who then spend it all.

There are many organizations that will help abused women.

If you know someone who needs this information, call your local YWCA or any of the local churches. They offer services to abused or battered women and their children.

Find the nearest county housing authority, state employment office, or health department and and apply for subsidies to provide resources such as housing, healthcare, etc.  If there is a local Community Action Partnership, you can receive help with 1st month rent payments and utilities.

Look in the phone book or online for the local chapter of Soroptimist International. This organization helps women and their children. They offer grants to go to school. They will find a way to help.

Reach out to a woman you might think is being abused in any way: help her feel that she is not alone. Seek out organizations willing to help but be careful that you don't get in the path of the abuser.

Once a friend asked for my help because she was afraid of her ex-husband. She asked me to go with her to a meeting where she was supposed to sign their tax return before it was submitted. I said I would not knowing we were meeting him in a parking lot after business hours. When we got there, the parking lot was empty so we were pretty much alone. He wanted her to sign a blank tax form. I said I didn't think that was a good idea. He got very angry and lashed out verbally at me. He was a big man so I stood as tall as I could and held eye contact but said nothing. He backed down and left.

It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but I did learn that most bullies are cowards. Don't put yourself in harm's way but be as supportive as possible.

No woman should feel that she must stay with her abuser because of money.
 -Karen


Staying with someone because of any other reason than you are truly happy and want to be with that person is hurting you and your children just as much or even more than being alone. If you or your spouse are fighting all the time -- that is not good for you first of all and second isn't good for the children. They deserve to see their parents happy even if that's not being together because when you are happy they are happy, and when you are happy your children will learn to be happy and that fighting all the time is not ok.

Staying with someone because you are afraid you can't make it financially is scary. It may even make a bad situation worse. Ultimately you could end up resenting that person and blaming them for you being miserable. Remember, you are in charge of your life -- only you can make you miserable. If you take charge and realize you can do anything you set your mind, you'll be fine. Take every opportunity that comes your way and use every resource you can because you are worth it!
-Amanda