Taking Charge Today is under going some changes and we are very excited for them, updates soon to come
Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
To Thine Own Self Be True
Shakespeare was right! We need to be ourselves -- not someone who tries to please everyone else and loses "self" in the process.
If you haven't figured out who you are yet, I recommend going to http://www.colorcode.com/
and taking the personality test. It's easy and it's fun! and it's free!
You'll learn more about who you are in a few short minutes than you ever knew before.
When you try to be someone you aren't, you get very frustrated and unhappy.
Be outgoing, if you feel comfortable doing that.
If you like to organize and get things done, don't let anyone tell you that you are too pushy.
On the web site you'll learn what really motivates you. It might be power, close relatiionships, peace, or fun.
Once you know -- you'll understand why following your inner voice makes you so happy.
You're being true to yourself.
If you live close to Salt Lake City, join us on Saturday, Feb. 25, 2012 for our monthly single mom miniconference at the Salt Lake City Library, downtown on the corner of 4th S. and 2nd E. , 2-3 pm. and learn more.
If you haven't figured out who you are yet, I recommend going to http://www.colorcode.com/
and taking the personality test. It's easy and it's fun! and it's free!
You'll learn more about who you are in a few short minutes than you ever knew before.
When you try to be someone you aren't, you get very frustrated and unhappy.
Be outgoing, if you feel comfortable doing that.
If you like to organize and get things done, don't let anyone tell you that you are too pushy.
On the web site you'll learn what really motivates you. It might be power, close relatiionships, peace, or fun.
Once you know -- you'll understand why following your inner voice makes you so happy.
You're being true to yourself.
If you live close to Salt Lake City, join us on Saturday, Feb. 25, 2012 for our monthly single mom miniconference at the Salt Lake City Library, downtown on the corner of 4th S. and 2nd E. , 2-3 pm. and learn more.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Create a To Be List
We all create To Do Lists -- most of us do it every day. This list reminds us of important things we need to do. We even feel better about ourselves each time we check off one of the items on the list. Those of us who are really intense hate to go to bed until the list is finished and we've checked the last item as completed.
The problem is that with all this doing, we are forgetting who we want to be.
Have you noticed how prominent greed is in the television commercials. "Get your own, you can't have any of mine" seems to be the theme. Is that who we really want to be? Last night I finally saw a "share" commerical. Congratulations, Keebler!
The commercial opens with two sisters wanting a cookie but there is only one left. After a few seconds of pondering, the older sister gives her little sister the last cookie -- all of it. However, when she turns back to the package, suddenly another cookie has appeared. She smiles, takes the cookie, and sits down by her sister at the dinner table and they both enjoy their cookie. Only then does the viewer see the Keebler elf hiding. He is the one who rewarded the generous sister with her own cookie.
Thank you Keebler for reminding us and the advertising world that America is not about "me first" and never has been. Our nation and people have always been among the first to help others. Let's never forget that character trait or any of the other positive character traits we are known for.
It's time to create a To Be list so we can work on being the people we ought to be -- especially if we want to continue to be a great nation. Here are some suggestions to put on your list and check off daily:
Honest
Grateful
Generous
Friendly
Kind
Helpful
Self-reliant
The problem is that with all this doing, we are forgetting who we want to be.
Have you noticed how prominent greed is in the television commercials. "Get your own, you can't have any of mine" seems to be the theme. Is that who we really want to be? Last night I finally saw a "share" commerical. Congratulations, Keebler!
The commercial opens with two sisters wanting a cookie but there is only one left. After a few seconds of pondering, the older sister gives her little sister the last cookie -- all of it. However, when she turns back to the package, suddenly another cookie has appeared. She smiles, takes the cookie, and sits down by her sister at the dinner table and they both enjoy their cookie. Only then does the viewer see the Keebler elf hiding. He is the one who rewarded the generous sister with her own cookie.
Thank you Keebler for reminding us and the advertising world that America is not about "me first" and never has been. Our nation and people have always been among the first to help others. Let's never forget that character trait or any of the other positive character traits we are known for.
It's time to create a To Be list so we can work on being the people we ought to be -- especially if we want to continue to be a great nation. Here are some suggestions to put on your list and check off daily:
Honest
Grateful
Generous
Friendly
Kind
Helpful
Self-reliant
Thursday, July 28, 2011
10 Ways to Buy More of What You want
Having a spending plan means that you can spend your money the way you want to. Too many people think that budgeting means less money when it really means more -- more of what you want. Impulse buying is really having less. If you spend your money because people ask you to, then you won't have any when you see something you really, really want.
So here are 10 ways to have more because you planned:
1. Stay out of the convenience store -- you'll only buy expensive stuff you don't really want or need.
2. Write a spending plan -- you'll only give your money to people who are going to give you something important in return.
3. Give yourself (&your partner) an allowance -- here is money you can splurge with, just remember when it's gone, it's gone until next month.
4. Stop paying interest -- cut up those credit cards and live within your means. You'll save hundreds of dollars in interest. And that's more money in the long run.
5. Record what you spend for one week -- it will surprise you just how much you waste.
6. Check your spending at least once a week -- sit down and look and what you spent and where. Adjust your plan, as needed. Now you are in charge of your money!
7. Put pocket change in a "fun" jar. Save your change. It's amazing how quickly it adds up to real money!
8. Before depositing your next pay check, move whatever is left from the last paycheck into savings. Even a few dollars will grow (here's where you get interest) more than you think.
9. Start getting interest -- Forget your savings for six months and see what it does while you're not looking. Compound interest is the best!
10. Use a grocery list -- buy only what's on the list -- eat out less and cook more. You'll save money and be healthier. Put $10 worth into building your pantry. When money is tight, a homecooked meal will be sitting on the shelves at home.
So here are 10 ways to have more because you planned:
1. Stay out of the convenience store -- you'll only buy expensive stuff you don't really want or need.
2. Write a spending plan -- you'll only give your money to people who are going to give you something important in return.
3. Give yourself (&your partner) an allowance -- here is money you can splurge with, just remember when it's gone, it's gone until next month.
4. Stop paying interest -- cut up those credit cards and live within your means. You'll save hundreds of dollars in interest. And that's more money in the long run.
5. Record what you spend for one week -- it will surprise you just how much you waste.
6. Check your spending at least once a week -- sit down and look and what you spent and where. Adjust your plan, as needed. Now you are in charge of your money!
7. Put pocket change in a "fun" jar. Save your change. It's amazing how quickly it adds up to real money!
8. Before depositing your next pay check, move whatever is left from the last paycheck into savings. Even a few dollars will grow (here's where you get interest) more than you think.
9. Start getting interest -- Forget your savings for six months and see what it does while you're not looking. Compound interest is the best!
10. Use a grocery list -- buy only what's on the list -- eat out less and cook more. You'll save money and be healthier. Put $10 worth into building your pantry. When money is tight, a homecooked meal will be sitting on the shelves at home.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Positive Affirmations
Saturday's Single Mom Meeting was awesome! Amanda gave a great presentation on Taking Care of Yourself so You can Take Care of Others. She said that moms spend so much time taking care of others needs, they often forget to recharge their own batteries. First, she had everyone make a list of their accomplishments. Not necessarily HUGE accomplishments, but everyday accomplishments -- like getting all the laundry done -- or -- getting to the Single Mom's Meeting -- or -- just getting the kids where they needed to be so you could go to the meeting. She reminded us that we accomplish so much every day but often only focus on what we didn't get done!
Next, she asked everyone to make a list of the positive things they tell themselves. That was a little harder for some. Everyone agreed that too much of their self-talk is negative. So we all helped each other create a list of positive affirmations we could repeat, at least morning and night, to keep our spirits up and remember what remarkable women we are.
Here is a list of just a few:
1. I love myself
2. I am awesome
3. I am in charge of my life
4. Quitting is Not an option
5. Heavenly Father (or God or the Universe, etc, depending on your personal beliefs) gives me everything I need to complete my mission
6. My destiny is waiting for me to show up!
7. I am a money magnet.
8. I am formulating a plan and follow that plan as it is revealed to me through my inner voice.
9. I don't let anyone or anything stand between me and what I know is right!
Why don't you make your own list of great affirmations. Stand in front of the mirror, morning and night, (and any other time you need to), put your hands on your hips, look yourself in the eye, and repeat these statements. Amanda reminded us that our subconscious believes what we tell it. It can't tell the difference between a truth or a lie so tell yourself positive things and your mind will go to work and make them happen.
Please take a moment to make a comment with your favorite affirmations. Perhaps you have just the right one for a woman who needs some positive thoughts today.
Next, she asked everyone to make a list of the positive things they tell themselves. That was a little harder for some. Everyone agreed that too much of their self-talk is negative. So we all helped each other create a list of positive affirmations we could repeat, at least morning and night, to keep our spirits up and remember what remarkable women we are.
Here is a list of just a few:
1. I love myself
2. I am awesome
3. I am in charge of my life
4. Quitting is Not an option
5. Heavenly Father (or God or the Universe, etc, depending on your personal beliefs) gives me everything I need to complete my mission
6. My destiny is waiting for me to show up!
7. I am a money magnet.
8. I am formulating a plan and follow that plan as it is revealed to me through my inner voice.
9. I don't let anyone or anything stand between me and what I know is right!
Why don't you make your own list of great affirmations. Stand in front of the mirror, morning and night, (and any other time you need to), put your hands on your hips, look yourself in the eye, and repeat these statements. Amanda reminded us that our subconscious believes what we tell it. It can't tell the difference between a truth or a lie so tell yourself positive things and your mind will go to work and make them happen.
Please take a moment to make a comment with your favorite affirmations. Perhaps you have just the right one for a woman who needs some positive thoughts today.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Problem Solving Skills
When your hair is on fire because you have a problem that must be solved RIGHT NOW, you may have trouble thinking it through logically. Of course, it's best to be proactive so problems don't get out of control. Unfortunately, when you have children, sometimes there is no such thing as control. So here are seven steps that will help walk you through the problem solving process:
1. State the problem: Define the problem specifically so you see what is relevant and what isn't. When you are upset and angry, you might let your feelings rule. "My children are driving me nuts," doesn't really offer any insight to a solution. "My children don't follow through when I ask them to do chores," is a statement that gets to the real problem.
2. Outline the problem: When does it happen? Why does it happen?
3. Outline your typical response: How do you respond and what happens when you behave that way? Yelling usually isn't effective.
4.List your options for resolving the problem: Brainstorm 6-10 possible solutions. Choose three good possibilites and evaluate them. Combine them, build on them, and write down their direct opposites.
5. Visualize the consequences of change: Ask "How will this solution affect what I need, want, or feel?"
6. Give the best one a try: Let it work for a while, be patient. Change takes time.
7. Evaluate: Perhaps it is a great solution or maybe it needs just a little tweeking. However, if it is not working, go back to your original list of possibilities and try again.
When you solve problems effectively, you grow and so does everyone else involved.
1. State the problem: Define the problem specifically so you see what is relevant and what isn't. When you are upset and angry, you might let your feelings rule. "My children are driving me nuts," doesn't really offer any insight to a solution. "My children don't follow through when I ask them to do chores," is a statement that gets to the real problem.
2. Outline the problem: When does it happen? Why does it happen?
3. Outline your typical response: How do you respond and what happens when you behave that way? Yelling usually isn't effective.
4.List your options for resolving the problem: Brainstorm 6-10 possible solutions. Choose three good possibilites and evaluate them. Combine them, build on them, and write down their direct opposites.
5. Visualize the consequences of change: Ask "How will this solution affect what I need, want, or feel?"
6. Give the best one a try: Let it work for a while, be patient. Change takes time.
7. Evaluate: Perhaps it is a great solution or maybe it needs just a little tweeking. However, if it is not working, go back to your original list of possibilities and try again.
When you solve problems effectively, you grow and so does everyone else involved.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Financial Abuse
It is hard to believe but many women in abusive relationships don't leave because they don't believe they can make it financially. Their abuser doesn't allow them to have any money, even if they make it themselves working. They feel they can't leave because they won't be able to feed their kids.
And this problem isn't just with women who are poor. Even wealthy women can be economically abused when they have to hand over their paychecks to partners who then spend it all.
There are many organizations that will help abused women.
If you know someone who needs this information, call your local YWCA or any of the local churches. They offer services to abused or battered women and their children.
Find the nearest county housing authority, state employment office, or health department and and apply for subsidies to provide resources such as housing, healthcare, etc. If there is a local Community Action Partnership, you can receive help with 1st month rent payments and utilities.
Look in the phone book or online for the local chapter of Soroptimist International. This organization helps women and their children. They offer grants to go to school. They will find a way to help.
Reach out to a woman you might think is being abused in any way: help her feel that she is not alone. Seek out organizations willing to help but be careful that you don't get in the path of the abuser.
Once a friend asked for my help because she was afraid of her ex-husband. She asked me to go with her to a meeting where she was supposed to sign their tax return before it was submitted. I said I would not knowing we were meeting him in a parking lot after business hours. When we got there, the parking lot was empty so we were pretty much alone. He wanted her to sign a blank tax form. I said I didn't think that was a good idea. He got very angry and lashed out verbally at me. He was a big man so I stood as tall as I could and held eye contact but said nothing. He backed down and left.
It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but I did learn that most bullies are cowards. Don't put yourself in harm's way but be as supportive as possible.
No woman should feel that she must stay with her abuser because of money.
-Karen
Staying with someone because of any other reason than you are truly happy and want to be with that person is hurting you and your children just as much or even more than being alone. If you or your spouse are fighting all the time -- that is not good for you first of all and second isn't good for the children. They deserve to see their parents happy even if that's not being together because when you are happy they are happy, and when you are happy your children will learn to be happy and that fighting all the time is not ok.
Staying with someone because you are afraid you can't make it financially is scary. It may even make a bad situation worse. Ultimately you could end up resenting that person and blaming them for you being miserable. Remember, you are in charge of your life -- only you can make you miserable. If you take charge and realize you can do anything you set your mind, you'll be fine. Take every opportunity that comes your way and use every resource you can because you are worth it!
-Amanda
And this problem isn't just with women who are poor. Even wealthy women can be economically abused when they have to hand over their paychecks to partners who then spend it all.
There are many organizations that will help abused women.
If you know someone who needs this information, call your local YWCA or any of the local churches. They offer services to abused or battered women and their children.
Find the nearest county housing authority, state employment office, or health department and and apply for subsidies to provide resources such as housing, healthcare, etc. If there is a local Community Action Partnership, you can receive help with 1st month rent payments and utilities.
Look in the phone book or online for the local chapter of Soroptimist International. This organization helps women and their children. They offer grants to go to school. They will find a way to help.
Reach out to a woman you might think is being abused in any way: help her feel that she is not alone. Seek out organizations willing to help but be careful that you don't get in the path of the abuser.
Once a friend asked for my help because she was afraid of her ex-husband. She asked me to go with her to a meeting where she was supposed to sign their tax return before it was submitted. I said I would not knowing we were meeting him in a parking lot after business hours. When we got there, the parking lot was empty so we were pretty much alone. He wanted her to sign a blank tax form. I said I didn't think that was a good idea. He got very angry and lashed out verbally at me. He was a big man so I stood as tall as I could and held eye contact but said nothing. He backed down and left.
It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but I did learn that most bullies are cowards. Don't put yourself in harm's way but be as supportive as possible.
No woman should feel that she must stay with her abuser because of money.
-Karen
Staying with someone because of any other reason than you are truly happy and want to be with that person is hurting you and your children just as much or even more than being alone. If you or your spouse are fighting all the time -- that is not good for you first of all and second isn't good for the children. They deserve to see their parents happy even if that's not being together because when you are happy they are happy, and when you are happy your children will learn to be happy and that fighting all the time is not ok.
Staying with someone because you are afraid you can't make it financially is scary. It may even make a bad situation worse. Ultimately you could end up resenting that person and blaming them for you being miserable. Remember, you are in charge of your life -- only you can make you miserable. If you take charge and realize you can do anything you set your mind, you'll be fine. Take every opportunity that comes your way and use every resource you can because you are worth it!
-Amanda
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