When your hair is on fire because you have a problem that must be solved RIGHT NOW, you may have trouble thinking it through logically. Of course, it's best to be proactive so problems don't get out of control. Unfortunately, when you have children, sometimes there is no such thing as control. So here are seven steps that will help walk you through the problem solving process:
1. State the problem: Define the problem specifically so you see what is relevant and what isn't. When you are upset and angry, you might let your feelings rule. "My children are driving me nuts," doesn't really offer any insight to a solution. "My children don't follow through when I ask them to do chores," is a statement that gets to the real problem.
2. Outline the problem: When does it happen? Why does it happen?
3. Outline your typical response: How do you respond and what happens when you behave that way? Yelling usually isn't effective.
4.List your options for resolving the problem: Brainstorm 6-10 possible solutions. Choose three good possibilites and evaluate them. Combine them, build on them, and write down their direct opposites.
5. Visualize the consequences of change: Ask "How will this solution affect what I need, want, or feel?"
6. Give the best one a try: Let it work for a while, be patient. Change takes time.
7. Evaluate: Perhaps it is a great solution or maybe it needs just a little tweeking. However, if it is not working, go back to your original list of possibilities and try again.
When you solve problems effectively, you grow and so does everyone else involved.
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